Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
