So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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