dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
