quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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