I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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