we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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