moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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