Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
