god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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