You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
