My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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