I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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