Well douche your snatch and let's go!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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