We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He shit in the fireplace
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
