i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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