just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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