this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found the puke drawer
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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