I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
