bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
