I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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