in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
