return my video game
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
