I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
