Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
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I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
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New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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