garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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