We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
