its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
