What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
