He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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