i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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