I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
worst night to have a conscience
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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