Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
