porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
