i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize