i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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