Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just gargled with NyQuil
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize