dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
