i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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