last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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