Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
