Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
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