Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize