just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
