dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Sext me about skeletons
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
