Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
