Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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