ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
