I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
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we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
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Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I woke up under a house in Key West
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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