On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
