it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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