i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
