OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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