I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just cropdusted the office
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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