I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
All I want is dick and wine.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
