so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Randomize
