I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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