Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
