that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Alive.
So much puke
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
