therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
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Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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