Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You ruined the universe
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
